


no rest for the dead

by RootsCanary



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:22:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24329482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RootsCanary/pseuds/RootsCanary
Summary: Sara really didn't expect the after life to look like... Aruba?Basically the emotional cleansing I needed after that rollercoaster of an episode. A crackfic about some of the legends in the afterlife which was most of all a lot of fun to write and hopefully is enjoyable to read as well.
Relationships: Laurel Lance & Sara Lance, Nora Darhk/Ray Palmer, Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 8
Kudos: 65





	no rest for the dead

**Author's Note:**

> This was a 100% self-indulgent writing extravaganza I went on and a first attempt at humor so while I did my best, please don’t expect it to make too much sense. I did however have the most fun writing this and it really reminded me why I loved writing so I hope that does translate to reading it too and it makes you smile or maybe even chuckle. Enjoy.

Sara blinked. The sun was way too bright. How did she even end up here?  
"Gideon?“ She reached for her earpiece.  
"Dammit.“  
She must’ve lost it in whatever mess she had gotten herself into this time.  
"Yes, Captain Lance?“  
Sara sat up and looked around. She was at a picture perfect beach and sat on a lounger in a red and yellow Hawaiian shirt. Aruba. Except this time, she was alone at the beach. She looked for an electronic device but none seemed to be around.  
"Captain? Do you need my assistance?“ Sara grinned at the animal that sat on the lounger next to her.  
"You’re a parrot?“  
"I’m afraid so."  
"Alright, Gideon, update me, what’s going on?“  
The parrot nodded.  
"You were on a mission in 2020 when you got caught up in a zombie apocalypse. You and the other Legends were at a safehouse the Time Bureau used to employ when zombies entered and unfortunately outnumbered you to an overwhelming extent. Charlie shortly opened a portal to the Waverider however, which allowed myself to step in. I uploaded your consciousness to my system, therefore as long as the ship stays in the temporal zone or visits the past only, you are not fully deceased. This restrains your death from solidifying in history and will make it easier to rewrite the timeline.“  
Sara rubbed her head as the memories came flashing back.  
"Right...“ She looked at the parrot.  
"But what about the others? What happened to them, where are they?“  
Promptly, the bird jumped aside as another body fell down from the sky and landed on the lounger next to Sara.  
"Their consciousnesses are being uploaded as we speak.“  
Sara’s face brightened up.  
"Ava.“  
Her girlfriend seemed alright. Sara leaned in with a cheeky smile.  
"Hey babe, did it hurt when you fell from the sky?“  
"Yes, actually, my back really didn’t appreciate this.“ Ava groaned as she sat up.  
"But-" she smiled. "I would always fall for you again.“  
Sara kissed Ava and rested her forehead against her temple. "I’m really glad to see you.“  
Ava hummed silently. "Me too.“  
Two more bodies fell down from the sky and slammed onto the loungers.  
"This might be a bit dramatic, Gideon.“ Sara pointed out without moving.  
"I’m aware but I was hoping to see you use that pick-up line, Captain.“  
The grin on Sara’s face disappeared when she lifted her head and suddenly saw two Zaris behind Ava, both of them rubbing their heads.  
"Gideon?“ Sara asked.  
"Miss Tomaz and Miss Tarazi have both assisted the Legends in two different timelines. Their identity is intertwined within Miss Tarazi but their consciousnesses are not, therefore both of them are here.“  
"We used to have two Zaris?“  
The parrot flew up to sit in between the two of them. With her wing, she pointed to the only Legend who wasn’t dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and wore black and red flannel instead.  
"Miss Tomaz existed in another timeline which you altered in 2019. I uploaded some of your memories as well so those should come back anytime.“  
"Good too see you too, Cap.“ Zari mumbled. The other one looked down at her shirt in disgust and inspected the fabric between her fingertips when Nate suddenly appeared on the lounger next to them.  
"Seems unfair that he didn’t have to fall from the sky.“ the other Zari pointed out.  
"Dr. Heywood died as Steel and I wasn’t sure which version of him would appear here. If he would’ve landed in his altered form, it would’ve broken the lounger which I thought was a bit excessive.“ Gideon explained.  
"Captain!“ Nate immediately jumped up and ran to hug Sara. "I’m so glad I didn’t have to fight you as a zombie.“  
"Wait.“ Sara raised an eyebrow. "So all of you are dead?“  
The rest of the team nodded.  
Zari sighed. "Again?“  
"Guys, that wasn’t the plan. I thought you were going to save me, not die with me.“ Sara said.  
"You know, plans usually work best when you actually let the rest of the team know about them. Or at least give them a chance to save your life before it’s too late.“ Ava replied.  
Sara exhaled. "Babe, it was supposed to go like this.“  
"If you would’ve let us know about your vision early enough we could’ve picked up the time couriers and driven elsewhere to charge them. But you didn’t even give us a chance.“ Ava said.  
"Well, I mean she’s not wrong.“  
"Ray-„ Sara held up her index finger to shut him up.  
"Ray!“ Nate exclaimed and almost ran him over as he wrapped him into a hug. Sara turned around and saw Ray and Nora standing next to the loungers.  
"Why are Ray and Nora here? Wait, did you guys...?“  
"Dr. Palmer and his wife are well but I’m afraid they were still pre-installed on my system.“ Gideon explained.  
"I did exclude Charlie’s file but there was not enough time to delete anybody else’s. My apologies.“  
Nora clenched both fists at her sides. "We’re dead?“  
"Not quite, Mrs. Darkh. You are essentially existing in a zone in between the worlds and as your consciousness-„ Gideon began to explain but Ray interrupted her and put his arm around Nora.  
"Whatever it is, I am sure, they’re going to get us out of here.“ he said with a nervous smile.  
"Right, guys?“  
Sara nodded.  
"Yeah, it... it’ll be fine. Gideon, what about Charlie, Mick and Constantine?“  
"Mister Rory made me promise that if I would ever upload his consciousness, it would be into one of his stories.“  
"So... you read all of his stories?“ Zari asked.  
"He read them to me.“  
"Oh.“  
"It was quite vivid.“  
Both Zaris pursed their lips in slight disgust.  
"And Charlie?“  
"They entered the portal onto the Waverider. I believe, they are currently doing their best to alter each of your personal timelines to prolong your lives.“  
"That's good.“ Sara mumbled. The more people were still alive, the better. "What about Constantine?“  
"The zombies didn't appear to be interested in him so I assumed that he had a high chance of survival. He could be helpful to Charlie so I left his consciousness in 2020. Additionally, Mister Constantine also put a protection spell on himself which restrains me from uploading his consciousness, even if it was in his best interest.“  
Sara nodded. "Alright. So what do we do now?“  
"The rest of the information concerning your whereabouts and the limits and possibilities of this place are still uploading therefore, you would prefer visiting the cocktail lounge over there, I believe.“  
Sara looked in the direction, Gideon pointed. It wasn’t too far.  
"Drinks are on me, guys.“ she said.  
Gideon flew to Nate’s shoulder where she sat down as everybody started making their way to the bar.  
"Aww.“ he grinned. "Am I your favorite?“  
"No, Dr. Heywood.“ Gideon replied. "Your shoulders are the broadest however and as I only have limited experience as a parrot, this seemed to be the safest alternative.“  
"She’s mean.“ Nate complained.  
Ava ignored his comment. "Hold up, Gideon. So you extracted our consciousness from our bodies, essentially killing us before we had any chance to take fate into our own hands? Zombies are just nibbling away at our brains right now?“  
"If I may be so blunt, Miss Sharpe, I only had a short amount of time to assess the situation but it seemed unlikely that you would’ve handled yourself well enough to survive.“  
"Aww, did my death upset you that much?“ Sara was beaming.  
"Yeah, Sara, that’s what death generally does to people.“  
"That’s cute.“ Sara wrapped an arm around Ava’s neck and pressed a kiss to her cheek. 

"Hello?“ The bar was empty. The wall behind the counter was fully stacked with different alcoholic beverages however.  
"I guess, there’s no harm in us getting some, right?“ Sara said and made her way to the bar as the rest of the Legends sat down in front of it. Usually, they would’ve immediately been alerted by the lack of visitors but something about this place seemed too innocent, too peaceful to be dangerous.  
"Do they have donuts?“ both Zaris asked simultaneously. They turned their heads to each other and rolled their eyes. Sara inspected the fridges and cupboards until she found some and handed them both a donut with vanilla glaze and some sprinkles on top.  
"Vodka, please.“ Nora said as she sat down.  
"Honey, don’t you maybe think-" Ray started.  
"Nope, Vodka.“  
"Alright, anyone else?“ Sara asked as she grabbed a bottle of vodka from the shelf.  
"Sara no.“ She turned towards the entrance where Laurel was walking into the bar.  
"Laurel.“  
She quickly made her way to Sara and slapped her shoulder.  
"You’re not supposed to be here, what was it this time?“   
"Wow, I’ve missed you too.“ Sara chuckled.  
Laurel sighed, smiled and wrapped her sister in a hug. Sara relaxed into the embrace. She always felt so safe in Laurel’s arms. She really had missed her. When they let go of each other, Laurel’s smile was genuine and less upset.  
"It’s good to see you. What happened this time? But make it fast, I can only be here for another minute.“  
"Zombies,“ Sara said. "But... that doesn’t matter, it’s only temporary and I’d rather tell you about something else.“  
She turned to the counter.  
"Ava, this is Laurel, Laurel, this is Ava, my girlfriend.“  
Laurel smiled.  
"I know.“  
"You do?“ Sara looked confused.  
"You don’t remember it but you died shortly when, I think, a goddess killed you? We only saw each other for a few minutes but you told me all about her.“  
Ava looked shy out of sudden.  
"She told me all about you as well.“  
Laurel smiled. "I’m glad you two have each other and you must be wonderful judging by the way Sara speaks of you, just please keep her away from here for another few decades.“  
Ava chuckled.  
"I’m trying my best.“  
Laurel turned back to Sara and held on to her arms.  
"How are mom and dad doing?“  
"Alright.“ Sara replied. "Can you tell Oliver I said hi?“  
Laurel nodded.  
"Come here.“ she said and pulled Sara into another hug.  
"I love you.“ she whispered into Sara’s ear. When Sara opened her eyes again, Laurel was gone.  
"Babe…“ Ava whispered and reached out for Sara’s hand. Sara held onto it and exhaled.  
"It’s okay, I think. Gideon, how...?“  
"You have established a connection in the afterlife several times so I was able to reinforce this to an extent here. I will do my best to preserve your memory of this place when we are back on the Waverider.“  
"Thank you.“ Sara said.  
Ava pressed a kiss to Sara’s hand as they let the weight of the moment rest in the air for a while. So they had really been with each other every time Sara had died. Sara smiled. She never remembered being dead. It was good to know that her and Laurel always would always find their way home.  
Nate finally broke the silence after a while.  
"Can’t somebody just wish for Nora to bring us back to life?“  
Nora shook her head. "There are limits to my powers.“ she said.  
"And death lifts the curse so as we’re now in a world in between...“ Ray added.  
"Wait.“ Nora turned to Ray. They finished his sentence together.  
"We can do whatever we want.“  
Sara shook her head.  
"Woah, you two are not sneaking off to have sex right now.“  
"What?“ Ray started blushing. "We... we weren’t gonna-„  
"Yes, we were and we will-“  
"I need at least one person who can think straight. And magic is... generally helpful too.“  
Nora drank the vodka shot in front of her in one sip.  
"I have finished evaluating the information and I’m afraid, I have more bad news.“ Gideon chirped in and hopped from the bar to the counter in front of Sara.  
"Spill it it, Gideon. We’re already dead, can’t get much worse than that, right?“ Sara said.  
"As I accompanied you into this world, I am running out of power. And once I run out, you will be-„  
"Deader than we already are?“  
"By human standards, yes.“  
"So what you’re saying is that we don’t even get to chill out now.“  
"Unless you prefer death.“  
Sara looked at the others.  
"Alright Legends, I hope you’re ready to put the fun back in funeral because we are saving our lives.“


End file.
